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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918927">Un Jour Je Serai De Retour Près De Toi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarSystem/pseuds/SolarSystem'>SolarSystem</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Disco Elysium (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Another fic as I procrastinate my other fic lol, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 05:40:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918927</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarSystem/pseuds/SolarSystem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>CONCEPTUALIZATION [ MEDIUM: SUCCESS] - In this gunfight, you brought your bleeding heart on your sleeve and years worth of aches from holes where the people you love once stood, before you drove them all away with your sharp edges and cavernous sorrow. You will not be leaving this battlefield unscathed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Du Bois &amp; Kim Kitsuragi, Harry Du Bois/Kim Kitsuragi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Un Jour Je Serai De Retour Près De Toi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>LOGIC [CHALLENGING: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>You don’t understand why he’s still here.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>VOLITION [FORMIDABLE: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>You don’t understand why he’s still trying.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>INLAND EMPIRE - </b>
  <span>The last week was spent desperately pushing away any lingering obstinate traces of light before you could corrode them to a rotting black tar. You’re fundamentally broken, you need to cast him away from your detritus before he cuts himself collecting the shattered fragments of your shaken, unstable self.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>“Leave me alone.” Your voice rumbles hollowly in the room. It feels like a black void is sucking away any remnants of your strength, leaving you so, *so* tired. You don’t want to do this act anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>COMPOSURE [EASY: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>The lieutenant narrows his eyes. He straightens his back and stands taller, feet planted firmly on the ground. He is not moving. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>Fluorescent light spills around his silhouette and into the darkened room in which you stand, hunched over and pathetic. The way he’s standing, with a solemn shadow cast over his front and an unwavering determination set on his face, reminds you of a standoff. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>CONCEPTUALIZATION [ MEDIUM: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>In this gunfight, you brought your bleeding heart on your sleeve and years worth of aches from holes where the people you love once stood, before you drove them all away with your sharp edges and cavernous sorrow. You will not be leaving this battlefield unscathed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>Kim tilts his head slightly, reflective light bouncing off his lenses. He looks at you, searching in your tired, bloodshot eyes for an answer or a clue. “Why are you acting like this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>RHETORIC [EASY: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>You huff a small breath of mirthless laughter. “Acting like what?” You shoot back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>AUTHORITY - </b>
  <span>That’s it, push him further, get under his skin. Keep going until he inevitably explodes and loses all his motivation to keep holding on. Then, he’ll let go, and leave safe and untouched from your eternal ruination. And you’ll be all alone, where you can finally self-destruct without fear of scarring anyone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>“You’re acting different. Colder, harsher. Destructive.” He cranes his head and squints his eyes at you, taking in your appearance. You haven’t slept *at all*, and it’s apparent.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>COMPOSURE-</b>
  <span> Dark circles hang heavily beneath your red-rimmed eyes. Your hair is slightly matted, brushing into wild directions over your pale-greyish skin. Your stained clothes are wrinkled, as if they were crumbled into a tight, small ball and carelessly thrown around. Hours of tossing and turning in your bed, excruciating over every single thought that ran rampant in your restless head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>Kim blinks as his head cocks back in place, a revelation dawning on him. His mouth is slightly open.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>EMPATHY [IMPOSSIBLE: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>Something changes in the way he looks at you, an emotion you can't quite identify swirling in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>“You’re pushing me away.” He says quietly, a tone of realization coloring his voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>ESPRIT DE CORPS [TRIVIAL: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>He's a good cop and an even better detective. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>“You’re pushing me away,” He says again, more disbelievingly. “Why?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>EMPATHY [GODLY: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>There it is again, that strange emotion.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>VOLITION [FORMIDABLE: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>Why, indeed. The simple answer is because you don’t want to hurt him like you have with everyone else. On this godforsaken planet, he is the only good person left you haven’t tainted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>INLAND EMPIRE - </b>
  <span>Pain is certain when wielding a flawed blade.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>He looks at you with that strange emotion and an expectancy in his eyes. He wants an answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>AUTHORITY [IMPOSSIBLE: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>And who are you to say ‘no’ to him?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>COMPOSURE [LEGENDARY: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>Gathering all your remaining strength and volition, you croak out these next, painfully truthful words:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>“I don’t want to hurt you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>He goes still, very still. A stream of dust particles shine in the beam of light flowing around him. The emotion in his eyes hit you with full force, you nearly stumble backwards from the raw strength of it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>VISUAL CALCULUS [MEDIUM: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>The events from the past week flash in his head like a flickering reel of film. Every off-character action and bruising word is piecing together, completing an elaborate portrait that voices all your insecurities. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>PERCEPTION [TRIVIAL: SUCCESS] -</b>
  <span> The sound of shoes toeing delicately over broken shards of an old bottle of Commodore Red, whose contents have been drained years ago, catches your attention.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>The lieutenant is a few steps closer now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>HALF LIGHT [LEGENDARY: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>NO. STOP HIM BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>PAIN THRESHOLD [CHALLENGING: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>He doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into- a world of hurt that rivals death from the pale.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>SAVOIR FAIRE [MEDIUM: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>In a blind moment of panic, you hastily lunge backwards. You slip on a few crumbled and stained sheets of paper beneath your feet. You stumble for a few frantic moments, but manage not to collapse on the dirty floor. You look like a caged, wild animal- terrified out of its mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>The lieutenant raises his arms, as if moving to catch you if you fell. His arm falls back to his side when he sees that you’re stable for now. He takes a deep breath in, preparing for whatever he has to say.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>COMPOSURE [EASY: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>You watch as he slowly peels away the layers of his collected poise, vulnerability seeping through the edges of his body. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>EMPATHY - </b>
  <span>That emotion, it’s-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - “</b>
  <span>I’m not leaving you.” He says simply, his conviction leaves you breathless.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>EMPATHY [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>Trust.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>He trusts you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>INLAND EMPIRE - </b>
  <span>He’s seen the extent of your decay, sifting through the filth of your radioactive wasteland. He’s seen what happens when people are exposed to your wreckage, the mutations and the abysmal regret. Your radius of eradication stretches on for miles and miles. And yet,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>EMPATHY [TRIVIAL: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>He still trusts you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>ESPRIT DE CORPS - </b>
  <span>He’ll *die* for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>ENDURANCE [LEGENDARY: FAILURE] </b>
  <span>And that thought terrifies you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>ELECTROCHEMISTRY [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>But he’ll also live for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>AUTHORITY [FORMIDABLE: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>He’ll work with you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>DRAMA [MEDIUM- SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>He’ll laugh with you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>INLAND EMPIRE [MEDIUM- SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>He’ll smile for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>VOLITION - </b>
  <span>Question is, would you?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>“... I tried my best to push you away,” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>Kim keeps quiet, allowing your onslaught of words to spill over.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>“I kept telling myself, it was to protect you. That if you stay with me, I’ll hurt you like I did with everyone else- and I *couldn’t* let that happen. But…” You chuckle disbelievingly. “You stayed, no matter what I did.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>PAIN THRESHOLD [LEGENDARY: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>Every scornful thing you did to him tore a jagged line deep in your heart. Even remembering it sends a sharp throb to your chest. It was unbearable.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>“I don’t understand why you kept holding on, what do you even see in me?” You gesture slightly to your deteriorating body. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>INLAND EMPIRE - </b>
  <span>He sees what you can be, not what you were. He sees the *real* you, underneath those putrid layers of alcohol, drugs, and self-hatred.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>You shake your head and continue, “It got so hard pretending, I couldn’t do it anymore. If you had just left, maybe it would be easier, but…” A syllable chokes in your throat, a burning sensation builds behind your eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>ENDURANCE [IMPOSSIBLE: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>Let go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>A single tear slides down your cheeks and disappears into your mutton-chops, the first of many. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>COMPOSURE [IMPOSSIBLE: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>Your throat tightens as a lump forms, muscles tensing and preparing for an inevitable rainstorm. You force your next words out, shaky and barely audible through your choked throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>“I don’t want you to.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>CONCEPTUALIZATION - </b>
  <span>It’s raining indoors. It feels like a dam within you burst after years and years of locking it up. The tears don’t stop, and you’ve given up on trying to wipe them away when it’s apparent they will keep coming back regardless.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI - </b>
  <span>Kim steps towards you and closes the distance between you two. You give a small jolt of surprise as he wraps his warm arms around your waist, leaning his head against your shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>PERCEPTION (TOUCH) [TRIVIAL: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>With his gloved hands, he rubs soothing circles on your trembling back, coaxing out all your tears. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>COMPOSURE [MEDIUM: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>He seems indifferent about the turret of the salty droplets falling onto his head, only focusing on comforting you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>You clutch onto him, holding him tightly as if he was your anchor in this never ending storm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>INLAND EMPIRE - </b>
  <span>And in the distance, you see the solid silhouette of a lighthouse, its walls worn from harsh weather and relentless waves. A sole beam of light penetrates the darkness, shining steadily across the sea. A crack splits in the dark-grey clouds looming above. The sun peeks through, it's warmth thawing the frigid waters. The storm begins to relent, releasing its iron grip on your throat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YOU - </b>
  <span>Finally having the strength to speak, you clear your throat and say quietly, "Thank you."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI -</b>
  <span> He says nothing and burrows himself deeper in your arms, getting comfortable.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>EMPATHY [TRIVIAL: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>You love him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>VOLITION [MEDIUM: FAILURE] - </b>
  <span>You're hoping he loves you too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>PERCEPTION (TOUCH) [EASY: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>Despite the fact you've stopped crying a few moments ago, Kim's hand continues rubbing circles on your back. A grounding reminder of his presence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>ESPRIT DE CORPS [MEDIUM: SUCCESS] </b>
  <span>What he said wasn't just for show, he means it. He's staying.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>KIM KITSURAGI- </b>
  <span>You sneak a glance at Kim's face and he looks at you at the same exact time. A smile slowly blooms on his face, his eyes full of fondness and adoration.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>EMPATHY [TRIVIAL: SUCCESS] - </b>
  <span>He loves you back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed reading this! Kudos and comments are, *chef's kiss*, godly</p></blockquote></div></div>
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